The Thanksgiving Explosion
by LawlietsDarkAngel
Summary: What happens when you mix a stupid devil hunter,a pissed off Nero, a stuffed rabbit, and an exploding turkey? The answer: total chaos. Slight Dante/Nero. Lots of swearing XD Happy Thanksgiving!


Hey hey peoples!!! Here is an early Thanksgiving story for everyone. Enjoy!!!!!

Warnings: Swearing, dropping of the F bomb, slight boyXboy action.

Disclaimer: I ,LawlietsDarkAngel, do not own or think i own Devil May Cry or its characters.

Dante's Thanksgiving

Leaves were blowing lazily by on that cold November day. It was Thanksgiving morning and all was peaceful in Capulet city. Well, almost peaceful.

"Dammit Dante! What the hell are you doing?!" The sound of metal hitting metal rang through the kitchen of the Devil May Cry. A red faced Nero stood next to an overflowing pot of gravy.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing? I'm making stuffing."

"You dumbass! Do you even know what stuffing is?"

"Of course I do you ungrateful brat!"

"Oh really?" A voice said from behind Dante. A man walked into the kitchen, his hair wet from the shower he had just taken. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but had a towel draped over his right shoulder.

"What the hell is that?" the man asked.

"It's stuffing Vergil. Are you two blind or something?"

"No. You're just stupid." Dante was about to start yelling when Nero interrupted.

"Um Dante? When I asked you to make stuffing, I meant food. Not the inside of your stuffed rabbit." Said rabbit was lying on the counter with his stomach ripped open, with white stuffing falling out of the hole.

"Oh. I knew that."

Vergil sighed before hearing a peculiar bubbling sound. He glanced around Nero, and backed up a couple of steps.

"Nero. I think you should move."

"Huh? Why?" Whistling filled the kitchen as Nero turned to look at his now moving pot of gravy.

"Oh shit."

An explosion that was heard half way across the city shook the devil hunter's office. Gravy covered every inch of the small kitchen, including its inhabitants.

Vergil sighed again before leaving the kitchen saying, "I'll get a bucket. And some soap."

"Damn it all!" Nero yelled banging his devil bringer against the stove, leaving a huge dent. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a raw turkey.

"Dante can you put this in the oven for me when it finishes heating up? I have to go take a shower."

Dante nodded as his twin walked into the kitchen, now wearing a shirt and carrying a bucket of soapy water with a couple of sponges. He threw one at Dante before getting on his knees and started to scrub the floor.

A few minutes later they had managed to clean most of the kitchen. The oven signaled it was done and Dante put the turkey in. He went back to scrubbing when Nero called him from upstairs.

"I'll be right back 'kay ?"

When Vergil was alone, he sat down gazing at the soapy floor in front of him. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed, again, when he saw that gravy had managed to get up there too.

He climbed on top of the counter with his bucket in hand and began cleaning. He slowly edged around the counter, scrubbing as he went. When he got to the stove, he continued on not seeing the giant dent that Nero had made in it earlier.

Stepping in said dent caused him trip, which resulted in him falling off of the counter.

Dante heard a bang in the kitchen while making out with a half naked Nero. Running down the stairs, he saw Vergil's body lying motionless. He ran up to his brother, looked at him, and said, "Are you dead?"

When he got no reply he picked up his ripped open rabbit, and went into the back room. He came out holding cardboard, glue, and magic markers. He looked back at his twin once more before walking out of the building.

Fifteen minutes later, a lopsided cross surrounded by magic marker colored flowers sat on the sidewalk. Dante wiped an imaginary tear from his eye as he looked at his makeshift memorial.

Meanwhile, inside the previously unmoving body twitched. Vergil blinked, rubbing his head as he sat up. He looked into the living room and saw that the front door was open. Getting up, he walked over and was slightly surprised to see Dante kneeling in front of a crappily made grave.

Vergil's eyebrows furrowed as his brother began to talk.

"Here lies Vergil. My loving brother. Well, actually he wasn't that loving, but that doesn't matter anymore."

"Dante."

"He was a good looking guy, though not as good looking as myself," Dante continued smiling. "He always was jealous of my handsome face."

"Dante, we're identical."

"Anyway, do you have anything to say Mr. Rabbit?"

"……….."

"Yes, I agree," Dante replied, nodding at his stuffed animal.

Vergil stared before saying, "Okay, that's just creepy."

Footsteps were heard on the stairs as Nero made his way down them. He stood next to Vergil as he watched the other twin continue talking to the inanimate stuffed object.

"He's not all there is he?"

Vergil glanced at the man besides him and said, "Nope. Why are you dating him again?'

Nero thought about it for a second before saying, "He's hot."

"Yes, yes I am," Dante said as he walked towards them. Nero looked at the grave and asked, "Dante, what is that?"

"Oh, it's Vergil's grave."

Nero looked towards Vergil.

"His grave?"

"Yep. Vergil died."

Vergil just shrugged and Nero shook his head in wonder at Dante's stupidity.

"Anyway, we have to go to the store. I need more stuff to make gravy with."

Six hours later a very disgruntled Nero slammed the front door of the building open. He dropped his groceries on the ground and turned to look at the source of his anger.

"Why is it that every time I take you grocery shopping you have to read every fucking label on every damn thing before you let us leave?!"

Dante pouted, "but I didn't get to read everything. You dragged me out when I was halfway through the store."

Vergil walked in behind his brother. "I didn't know you could read Dante."

Dante ignored the comment and walked into the kitchen. He began unpacking the groceries he was holding when he smelt something.

"God, it smells like something's burning." All three of them looked at the oven which was spewing huge clouds of smoke.

"Oh, no wonder it's so dark in here."

Whistling filled the tiny room and they all backed up as far as they could.

"Not again."

This explosion was ten times bigger than the last one. The roof of the Devil May Cry office flew off, landing on a car a couple of blocks away.

They all sat up in the now black kitchen coughing up clouds of smoke. Vergil was coughing the hardest, and Dante looked over at him. Grinning he said, "Vergil! You're alive!!!"

Vergil sighed. Again. Nero fell back down onto a pile burnt floor, and looked up at the sky now visible through the ceiling.

"I hate Thanksgiving."


End file.
